Communicating About Sex
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Communicating About Sex

To be honest communication is the key to make all things right, so why should sex be any less important. What makes communication about sex difficult is that old taboo that sex was not spoke about, you were made to feel guilty if you thought about sex or participated in any sexual acts, including masturbation.

Why it's important to have an open dialog about sex with your partner.

To be honest communication is the key to make all things right, so why should sex be any less important.

What makes communication about sex difficult is that old taboo that sex was not spoke about, you were made to feel guilty if you thought about sex or participated in any sexual acts, including masturbation. When we are not hung up on the taboo we tend to concern ourselves about the myths, so allow me to clarify some of the myths. Men do not know it all. Married men probably have more sex then most single men. Size is an issue, but it is not just the size of the man that may be the problem. Common sense people a man average or small being intimate with a thick woman, things are not going to work as perfect as we want. A man average or above average with a small slim woman, things are not going to work as perfect as you like. There are positions to consider and the wetter she gets, a woman will not completely feel her partner. Oh and if a woman does not have an orgasm it is not the man’s fault there are other factors that could be involved.

For me I am a very sexual being, due to some past sexual abuse - sex was just that, sex. I did not know what making love was, until I met my new boyfriend. “Making Love was something that you heard on television and in the movies as a nicer way of saying “having sex” At least that’s what I always thought. However due to the past sexual abuse, discussing sex was more prevalent to my relationships no matter how open or casual they may have been. Before I engaged in sex or even in the beginning of our courting ritual as we will call it. I would inform them I have been tested, I am clean and I will not do anything with out a condom. I have an IUD and I am not worried about getting pregnant, I am not about to catch anything. They can take it or leave it, but I do want some confirmation on their testing.

Because I am very open about my sexuality my children at least the oldest one is more knowledgable then some adult me, but I have not given him permission to have sex, he is only 14 and intercourse is a combination of mutual, physical and emotional pleasures and to be successful in these arena’s there needs to be communication; both verbally and threw body language.

Now in order for sex to be pleasurable you need to know your own body in order to teach your partner about your likes and what works. By not knowing what you like and allowing your partner to do what they want then you are not getting a fulfilling experience and you could be hurt both physically and emotionally. For instance with my new boyfriend, I found out there is a difference between having sex and making love, I don’t know if I can

There is also the compassion and consideration of a partner who may not be experienced. Some men or women have hang ups around sex due to trauma’s from their childhood, adolescents or adult life. A bad relationship could create a feeling of uneasiness and lack of trust. These are hurdles both people have to over come in order to communicate with their partner. Once you can embrace yours and your partner’s insecurities then you can get close and personal.

The biggest myth about it being men’s fault if a woman does not have an orgasm is just that a myth. In becoming close with your partner you need to understand the dynamics of a woman and how woman has an orgasm. When a woman becomes sexually aroused, her heart beats faster while her breathing quickens. Often, she'll tighten various muscles all over her body. Secretions occur inside and at the opening of the vagina. Some women make sounds reflecting the pleasures they are experiencing. Some women will emit or spray some fluid from their urethra during orgasm, called female ejaculation. It is equally beneficial for a man to make sound reflecting their pleasure. A man can also direct their partner in what they like to have done, and how certain things may stimulate them further.

Although it's true that the entire body is in some way involved during climax, the key sensual receptor will always be the clitoris. Clitoral stimulation can begin in foreplay with finger or hand, mouth, penis, vibrator, dildo or some other object or mechanism. It is harder for a woman to have a vaginal orgasm because there are not as many nerves with in the vaginal wall. Not to say that it is not possible, inside the vagina, you can find the infamous spot, the G-spot is located on the front wall (toward the navel) of the vagina, between the opening and the cervix.

Usually, after one orgasm, guys need to rest (unless you're one of those lucky guys who can achieve multiples), but it's believed that women can experience three tempos of orgasm, which include the single orgasm, the serial multiple orgasm and the sequential multiple orgasm. And there are some women who can will themselves to orgasm without even being touched, it is rare, but there are some.

Where you tell you partner what you need at that time, be it to slow down or go faster, to moving their hands into a spot or location that will stimulate you more. Also by the way you move your bodies, moans and groans that tell your partner you are being pleasured. Communication comes in many forms, and open communication with your partner makes for a solid relationship.

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Comments (1)

Very informative, I'm glad you covered such a wide range of topics.

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