Why Couples Have Less Sex After Marriage
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Why Couples Have Less Sex After Marriage

The fact that many couples have sex less often after being married is such a common thing that it is the source for many jokes. Learn why people may have less sex after getting married than they did while dating. Why is my wife not as interested in having sex with me after I got married? Why do some women think sex is a chore?

There is a common knowledge that although many people engage in premarital sex, once the wedding rings go on, the sex stops. Of course this is not always true but it is true enough in many cases to cause it to become a stereotype of the married couple.

There are many reasons why marriages become sexless, or why the amount of sex a couple has declines after getting married.

Typically in a dating couple, both partners go through the motions of keeping the relationship strong. The man is still essentially courting the girl, the girl is flirting with the guy. Both are acting with interest to keep the other's attention. This creates sexual energy and results in more sexual encounters between the two. After marriage they both tend to slack off because they are more comfortable in their relationship not being at risk.

There are marked behavioral changes between people when they are dating and after they get married. Generally the woman, without the constant wooing from the man, becomes less interested in sex. The man, being constantly interested in sex without too much other stimulation to put him in the mood, comes to expect that sex will happen, to the women it seems that this makes sex more of a “chore” and puts her off sex even more.

In other words, after marriage people tend to take each other for granted, and the excitement of anticipation of the sexual encounter is lost. In general women need mental stimulation from the man in order to feel turned on, when this stops happening she loses interest in having sex with him.

Other Factors that Contribute to Sexless Marriages

In the beginning of a relationship people often do not see each other's faults, or are simply more tolerant of them. After marriage they seem to be more aware of these faults and this becomes a turn off.

When children come along they really change everything. Often times the woman finds her role as “mother” to be more rewarding than her role as “wife” and tends to be pulled more in that direction, limiting her interest in sex.

Care for children (particularly if there is more than one child) can be exhausting, and an exhausted parent does not always feel like having sex.

Once married, people often take on more financial burdens than they did before, this can be an emotional drain on them, and emotionally drained people tend to be less interested in sex than those who have fewer worries and stresses.

People tend to berate each other slightly more after marriage, this lowers each others self esteem, which in turn lowers their sex drive. Being berated by another person tends to make a person less interested in them sexually than before.

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Comments (8)

Nice feature on intimacy Brenda, thank you and have a great day.

Excellently written article exploring some of the reasons couples have less sex after getting married than while dating.

Excellent article with logical explanations.

Dear Brenda,

Good article. Keep it up.

Souvik Chatterji

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